https://www.alexandrealechelle.com/magazine-blog daily 0.75 2026-07-04 https://www.alexandrealechelle.com/magazine-blog/r2s11rcgwix5fb4ca8nbesxffi1lre monthly 0.5 2026-07-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670ab2790e4edb0a43327d68/1783034349556-PD9PKUM9IWZM0BPEB9W7/img-4786-b3655776-c46d-4b03-b579-096d655cf1ec-jpg.jpeg The Magazine - Why Productivity Can’t Save You - Funny enough, each planner contained the same information, same goals, same promises. There were trackers, calendar invites, and reminders to wake up at 5:00 AM, work out four times a wek, write 2,000 words, drink water, read books. Everything you should do for a “That Girl” routine. I had the perfect Sunday checklist. Meals were prepped. Laundry was saved. All my planning systems were time-blocked and color-coded to perfection. Without fail, something would go wrong on Monday – whether it be a meeting turned left or woes of toddlerdom – life would happen. Instead of pivoting, I’d abandon the systems altogether. The vision was compromised. Time to start over. And over. And over again. Looking back, I wasn’t building plans. I was creating fantasies. Fantasy versions of my life, of myself, of success. These plans were never meant to support my reality. They helped me avoid it. I couldn’t see it then. I thought I was disciplined. People prided me on my ability to be organized, a well-oiled machine. My dopamine came from designing these systems, not actually doing the things. You know the feeling. A new notebook. A color-coded calendar. An aesthetically pleasing Notion dashboard. I’m can feel the high as I type these words. https://www.alexandrealechelle.com/magazine-blog/75b5enluvn434scc5szms7kf3p4zd3 monthly 0.5 2026-07-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/670ab2790e4edb0a43327d68/6d870752-97fb-4f84-8991-aef3495fa645/img-4442-f294f1c5-28cc-404c-b2f1-31b76b027b57-jpg.jpeg The Magazine - Learning to Be Alone Again - I’d been in survival mode so long that it took a while for all the real emotions of moving out to hit me. It wasn’t until one rainy night during winter break–the first time I didn’t have my son that the tears came. Truthfully, they’d been with me since the morning, but at this point in life, I’d become a pro at finding things to distract myself. But at 11:45 at night, there is no number of scrolls to avoid the inevitable. And so, while lying on my mattress still on the floor because I hadn’t found a bed frame that called to me, I cried. First, heated pricks near my tear ducts that turned to quick droplets across my cheeks, that turned to full, heaving sobs into my pillow. I was exactly where I wanted to be, but the realization hurt more than I’d expected it to. When I made the decision to leave, for months I imagined what it would feel like to have a place of my own for the first time in my life. Freedom. I had Pinterest boards for decor styles. Web browser tabs left open with furniture pieces I wanted to buy. Jokes shared with my sister about how I was about to be “outside.” When I’d gotten to this point, I thought that I’d be packing up the grief from what I thought would be my life. No one tells you the grieving process doesn’t start until you’ve left it. The life you prayed for. The grief associated with losing a future before it had a chance to begin. Watching it dissolve in real-time. What made this so hard was that while I’d been mentally preparing for what was to come, the part of me in tune with my emotions was not yet in a safe enough space to make her presence known. Unknowingly, it was taking everything out of me to function and smile through everything going on behind closed doors. 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